Dear Ryanair…

On behalf of all your passengers on the 230 flight to Alicante on 14/09/15, can I pass on our thanks for letting us wait in the queue at the departure gate for 20 minutes after it had supposedly closed? After all, I’d yet to experience the blind panic of running through an airport thinking I’d miss a flight. The joy at turning up to a gate that had yet even to begin letting passengers on the plane was matched only by the time I first saw a baby born. Thank you for allowing me to tick this off my bucket list. 

Even more appreciated was the instruction to ensure we had boarding passes at the ready, to ‘ensure a quick departure’. After all, it must have been our poor queuing technique that delayed the flight and we deserved to be patronised for that.

Finally, I’d like to give you my sincere gratitude for the multiple in-flight announcements asking people to ‘take their seats as promptly as possible.’ The onus is clearly on the passenger to foresee a complete lack of luggage space, and we should have simply carried all our possessions on our persons rather than bring bags at all. I for one was truly humbled to be allowed the privelige of putting my bag 30 rows behind me.

Yours sincerely,

The passenger now stuck in the aircraft as we wait for the rain to clear. Apparently the air has ran out of capacity for planes. I wish that last bit was a joke

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